Tuesday, January 8, 2008
There's a lot on my mind tonight and I thought I'd get a little comfort by jotting down some stuff. They say writing things down is some sort of therapy and I figure, why not. So, you might have heard that I've recently been diagnosed with Nephritis and today I went to see the Kidney doctor. We chatted and my level of anxiety went from a state of denial to well, I'm up at midnight typing on a Tuesday evening - level. Nothing's been set in stone as of yet because duh me, I forgot to go do some stupid blood tests to rule some other things out. Today's chat with the doc made things seem so much more real and it just sucks, you know. I totally get that life gets a ton worse than this for other people so, I'm trying to keep things in perspective but, it just sucks to be given a type of disease that may not be cured by simply taking a pill. Everything's up in the air as far as treatment goes right now but it's looking like steriods are going to be the way we'll treat this thing. If anyone's ever researched anything about theraputic steriods, you'll know the side effects suck. Suck! I have no idea if and what side effects I'll get to deal with but crap man, it seems like if I get any of them life's going to change for me and for the most part, I HATE change!!!!! Hate it. I know things will even out but life seems like it's off kilter at the moment and I'm just kicking myself for not getting into the lab to get my blood taken when I should've because then I'd know for sure what I've got and how we're going to treat it tonight instead of just speculating right now. Dang it. Life was crazy this last month though, as is for most people in December, but it just seemed like every time I'd think about going to get my blood drawn, something else would come up. All Excuses. Anyway, I'm glad to be able to write this down and "get it out" so to speak. I'd appreciate any rays of hope from people if you know of anyone on Prednisone or if anyone knows anyone with MPGN type 1, I'd love to talk to someone else who's been there or is currently there.